We had a a few inches of snow right before the New Year. Which, I find ironic because my first post, at my new space here, was filled with snow scenes. Do you remember that post? It was all about my word for the year... Action. I etched words about moving from one dream to another, and letting the wisps of fear trickle through my core and out the door of my soul. The funny thing about fear, it "always travels where hope dreams."
I am a dreamer by spirit so I envisioned action as a measure to crack the fear of failure and make my dreams come true. However, action in 2015 was fulfilled in my life as simply moving through the chaos of another day; a day where I had no control over my life. Action, as in, it's all about His dreams, and not mine. Action, as in, how to wrap my mind around the fact that I have no real understanding of the scope of His plans, and be willing to step forward in trust.
That kind of action was H.A.R.D. The kind of action where my dreams did not seem valid, or worthwhile, because reality says I had no say in my life, and what happened. The kind of action that released my control, and my dreams to His control, and His dreams for me. That kind of action is real, that kind of action is life changing.
I have absolutely no idea what my life will look like in one month, one year, one decade. And, that scared me. It made me feel lost, and out of control. It made me feel worthless in His eyes and numb. Until, New Year's Eve, when Blue Eyes looked quizzically at The Thinker and said, "So it's official! You are homeless. You are carless. And, you are jobless." Without missing a beat, with frenzied enthusiasm in his voice, he said, "So, 2016 should be great! Because I have no where else to go but up."
Two words have be bouncing around in my soul for the last month and I had no understanding of their meaning until he said those words. Doing and Change. Do is a verb, and by association I often placed doing in the verb context as well. However, doing is a noun that means.... action; performance; execution. And, change is a verb that means... 1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is, or from what it would be if left alone. 2. to transform, or convert
During 2015, I slowly lost the ability to dream. It was painful to continue to dream when all of my dreams had been stripped away. So, I decided to become laissez-faire about it and just let the tides of life take me where they may. But, because I am a dreamer by nature that left me floundering for any sense of balance. Dreams were a way to control my present, and my future. In that control there was no measure for the undercurrent of change. It was my dream, the way I envisioned it, or there was chaos.
Over the last month or so, I somehow traveled the abyss of anger, hopelessness, and sadness to fin that I have come to an acceptance that releasing my dreams for the unknown is an unearthly idea that I can never fully comprehend, and Im okay with that. In The Thinker's proclamation, I realized that dreaming is the essence of being open to the uncontrolled change in my life that would not happen if I do not have the courage to step forward in unfaltering faith.
Because, dreaming is natural, but to hold on to your dreams so tightly that there is no margin for change is the recipe for catastrophic failure.
What that looks like, doing and change? I have no idea. But, in doing change I am open to the possibilities while still allowing my soul to dream in a fluid and flexible manner.
And so, the 2016 adventure begins....
PROJECTS FOR 2016 ...two 52 in 52 photography series.
Still life photography has quickly over taken my photographic world, and I want to learn as much as I possibly can in the short time frame of a year. To do that, I feel the need to have a focus to keep me centered instead of hopping down any rabbit hole that comes my way. Therefore, one series will be a still life collection about a passion of mine, coffee.
I love roads and the unknown of the crest of the hill, or the bend in the journey. To me, that represents my life right now. I have no idea what the crest of the hill will reveal, or where the bend will take me, but I want to be willing to dream and to move forward through change. So, the second project will be a series of road photos.
I'll be sharing some of my images here, but you will find more images on my Instagram site over at Lisa.Kerner. Come back and visit me on Wednesday for my first viewing, and to get my hashtags so that you can follow along on Instagram.
P.S. I'll be sharing more about my book challenge on Friday, where I'll be back with my Friday Randomness.
1. Share your life through the lens past, or present.
2. Grab my button and link back to this page, so others can find our community.
3. Visit at least one person and create a community with them through encouraging comments.
~All forms of photography accepted… keep it family friendly please.
~Anyone with any photography skill can participate… we are all learning and growing.
~Any camera you take pictures with is acceptable… the best camera is the one in your hand.